Dangerous and Sweet Part II

I've come to realize how much my heart rules over my head or in other words my emotions rule over logic. I'm not a big fan of logic, I think it should go crawl up into a corner and die. I tend to act upon emotion and what I'm feeling instead of thinking things out and being reasonable in certain situations. I think that because I am such an emotionally charged person I tend to take things a little personally than they should be. I've always been like this and I've always been a bit ashamed about it. I'm just a 20 yr old girl, who's got a hell of a an imagination, a hopelessly romantic notion of love, and an idealistic view on life. I'm like a child at times, I hate responsibility and I just want to be free.


Back to why I'm writing this right now, I think this whole situation with my co-workers is a classic case of my emotions ruling over logic and rational thinking. It's funny because I'm not so mad at E who conjured up the whole prank I'm mad at O who didn't have much to do with the prank at all. My anger isn't really anger, it's frustration! I'm frustrated because I have the biggest crush on O and he knows and we've talked about it and it almost happened and then he changed his mind and now he doesn't feel the same way he did before. I guess looking at it from a rational standpoint it's good that we aren't together because if we were and it didn't end well it could make things awkward because we work together. However, considering how awkward things already are because I'm so frustrated with him I don't see how it could get any worse. Then I let my emotions take over and all I can think about is how unbelievable I felt when he kissed me. I havn't felt this way about anyone since my ex. I will be with O soon, but right now I have my friends. My amazing friends who I don't know where I would be without them.

I don't think such a group of people exists anywhere else in the world. We are all so different, and our personalites are such opposites and yet we have the most amazing time. It's such an ecclectic group of people and we are a unique, creative, imaginative group.

I'm going to keep a positive outlook on things. My birthday is exactly a week away and maybe turning 21 will be the beginning of a new me.
I will be happy.
I will find a man who loves me and can't get enough of me and will treat me with love and respect.
I will be okay.

I would say that I will have the most amazing group of friends but...I already have that.